Food, Protein Bar Reviews

The Not So Epic Bar Review

Epic Bar Review Quick Facts:

Overview: Grass fed meat bar

The Good: Relatively healthy, fun ingredients, great packaging, easy to eat, high in protein

The Bad: Gross texture, poor flavor, not organic

Get it or Skip it: Skip it, try the Bricks Beefy Bacon Paleo Bar instead

Try it yourself:


Epic Bar Taste Test:

The Epic Bar was a symbol of hope in the meal bar world. For those of us who love meat treats and meal bars, the Epic Meat Bar held a promise of something more. Perhaps a delicious combination of all the flavors we love in the form of a jerky-like power bar. Like many of you, I have long been searching for some tasty, chemi-free, pre-packaged on-trail nourishment in the form of an easy to eat and carry bar. However, up to this point I have tasted few bars worth mentioning. Thus, when I came across what claimed to be “The World’s First 100% Grass Fed Meat Bar,” in an issue of the Paleo magazine, I was intrigued. The Epic Bar promised to unleash my inner animal. Perhaps it’s acclaimed epic meatiness would somehow compensate for the dry, hard to chew, dog food like texture of other, non-animal meal bars.

Paleo Magazine Best of 2013 Issue and Pit Bull Kelvin at Dining Table

Grass Fed Epic Meat Bar Bison Flavor Review

My hopes were high and on our next trip to Whole Foods, Nelson and I purchased this alleged epic paleo bar snack for people on the go.

Bison Epic Bar

Meet the 100% grass fed, milk free, soy free, gluten free, hormone free, antibiotic free meat bar. It claims to be a different animal.

Epic Meat Bar Paleo Gluten Free Bison

Epic Meat Bar Statement

So far, so good. Who doesn’t love bacon?

Epic Meat Bar Bison Ingredients List

Epic Meat Bar Review

That is, until you actually taste it.

Epic Meat Bar Taste Review

Akin to a Slim Jim on steroids, but without all the delicious chemi flavor, the Epic Bison Meat Bar turned out to be just as gross as one would expect a meat bar to be. This creepy textured thin brick of processed bison meat fragments is yet another important reminder that if something seems too good to be true it probably is.

Pit Bull Kelvin Likes the Epic Bison Meat Bar Meal

Unless of course you’re a dog, in which case, while comparing the taste to your daily kibble, you will likely appreciate the fine blend of semi-moist meat particle flavors with a hint of apple juice.

Bison Epic Meat Bar

Luckily, we prepared for disaster with some very anti-Paleo, gluten-full Challah to kill the questionable meat bar flavor while soothing our palates with it’s soft, sweet, fluffy goodness.

Epic Meat Bar Review Try Two: The Turkey Bar

Sometimes, when I really want something to work out, I refuse to let it go. So it went with the Epic Meat Bar. I mean, everything about it screams “I’m going to be delicious!” It comes in an appealing package, it’s healthy, it’s meat, and it’s paired with fun ingredients like more meat and cranberries.

Turkey Meat Bar Taste Test

Epic Bar Review TurkeyEpic Meat Bar Review Turkey FlavorEpic Bar Review Turkey MeatPretty Gross Epic Meat BarReview of Epic Meat Bar Turkey Flavor

Needless to say, the Turkey Meat Bar was another gross epic failure. Notwithstanding, part of me still hopes that maybe one day the people behind Epic Bar will find a way to make this great idea a reality. Until then, we’ll make do with jerky.

Try it for yourself

Want a meat grass fed, grass finished, meat bar with bacon thats delicious?

Check out the actually epic Bricks meat paleo bar for people who like stuff that tastes good.