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How To Not Turn Into The Bearded Lady: The Link Between Cigarettes, Obesity And High Testosterone In Women

We’ve all heard of the bearded lady and women with beards have been around for much of recorded human history, but have you ever wondered how these lasses got that way?

What causes facial hair in women?

The short answer is manliness. The long answer is a little more complicated and has to do with increases in levels of circulating androgens (i.e. male sex hormones like testosterone and androsterone). Androgens are the steroids responsible for controlling the development of masculine characteristics including aggression and facial hair. Androgen elevations such as high testosterone in women have been linked to heavier menstrual cycles, menstrual cramps (ouch), obesity, and increased risk for chronic illnesses such as Type 2 diabetes. They have also been shown to trigger aggression, excess hair growth, acne, uneven and oily skin, a deepening of the voice and temporal balding (at least you’ll still have a beard though). High testosterone levels in women are thus at least one of the major culprits behind what causes facial hair in women and the bearded lady phenomenon.

Side Effects of High Testosterone in Women and Bearded Ladies

How do androgens in women get elevated?

Well, have you ever noticed that chicks who smoke a lot of cigarettes develop deep, masculine voices? Perhaps in comparing them to their non-smoking counterparts you’ve also found these lasses to be a bit more hairy, aggressive, promiscuous, oily, and prone to acne (gross). The reason for this is simple: cigarette smoking is associated with increases in levels of circulating androgens in women.

Smoking Elevates Androgen Levels in Women

Cigarettes make women more manly.

In studies of women, cigarette smoking has been linked to infertility, menstrual disorders, and hormone-dependent cancers. Largely due to the hormonal imbalance between high levels of androgens and low levels of estrogens (female sex hormones), females who puff the not so magic dragon also tend to reach menopause at a younger age than women who don’t smoke and experience more hot flashes when they do. Research indicates that these relationships are all mitigated by cigarette smoking induced elevations in androgen levels. Since most men do not seek out bearded ladies as sexual partners and since sexual intercourse is one way by which to regulate hormonal levels, it is possible that by elevating levels of androgens in women and consequently turning unsuspecting girls into bearded ladies, cigarette smoking inhibits their body’s ability to self-regulate, thus perpetuating the cycle.

High Testosterone in Women is Linked to Cigarette Smoking and Bearded Ladies
Suggesting a dose-response relationship (i.e. the more you use the greater the effects), the highest levels of androgens can be observed in women who smoke the most cigarettes. Studies show that even when compared to obese women, who as a result of androgen synthesis in adipose tissue (that’s right, girl fat churns out man hormones like there’s no tomorrow), are known to exhibit elevated androgen levels, current female smokers still have the highest concentrations of testosterone, with decreasing values observed in former and nonsmokers.

High Testosterone Levels in Women Caused by Androgen Synthesis in Adipose Tissue

In addition to more circulating testosterone, a pattern of increased abdominal obesity (i.e. belly fat) has also been observed in women who smoke. Studies have found that compared to their non-smoking counterparts, females who smoke cigarettes have a significantly higher waist-to-hip ratio (a.k.a. the spare tire syndrome), which is known to be regulated by sex hormones. Specifically, high testosterone in women inhibits fat cells from amassing in the hips while at the same time causing them to accumulate around the waist. As a result, females with heightened testosterone levels exhibit higher waist-to-hip ratios and are more likely to be abdominally obese. Obesity means more adipose tissue or fat in the body, which as we stated earlier is the site of male sex hormones synthesis in women. More fat means more androgens and more androgens means more fat, thus further perpetuating what appears to be a seemingly endless cycle of hormonal instability and female obesity.

Elevated Androgens in Women Increase Fat

On the contrary, estrogens in the female body are known to produce the opposite effect, leading to low waist-to-hip ratios by promoting greater fat accumulation in the hip area than the waist. Smoking associated changes in sex hormone levels are thus likely to affect fat distribution in the female body causing it to become concentrated in the belly area and in turn making the feminine form more tubular as opposed to pear-like. In accordance with these findings, studies have also shown women with a low waist-to-hip ratio to have higher levels of the female sex hormone estradiol and larger breasts. Higher levels of estradiol, larger breasts, and small waist-to-hip ratios in women are associated with more reproductive potential and greater sexual appeal. Therefore, women who smoke and consequently possess higher waist-to-hip ratios, smaller breasts, and lower levels of estradiol are both less sexually attractive and less likely to produce good offspring.

Bearded Ladies Stop Smoking Cigarettes Or You Will Become One

Cigarettes, Obesity, and High Testosterone Levels in Women with Beards

Based on the scientific evidence investigating links between cigarette smoking, androgens in women and women with facial hair, women who smoke cigarettes are very likely to turn into manly, aggressive bearded ladies with spare tires, temporal balding and acne prone skin. As a result of their their diminished reproductive potential and tubular bodies, these women will in turn be unlikely to find sexual mates to procreate with. Without sex to regulate their hormonal imbalance, they risk getting stuck in a self-perpetuating cycle of obesity and ever increasing levels of male sex hormones. Luckily, women who quit smoking and begin to adhere to healthy lifestyle changes can heal their bodies, lose their facial hair, regain their feminine shape (i.e. a low waist-to-hip ratio) and make babies with a sexual partner of their dreams.

So, while the occasional social cigarette is unlikely to morph a lass into the bearded lady, continuing the habit over time will definitely take it’s toll. The good news is that up to a certain point, the human body possesses un uncanny ability to repair itself, so unless they’ve wandered too far down the path of no return into the ultimate depths of grossness, most current smokers can begin to regulate their body and reverse much of the damage after just 1-2 years of smoking cessation.

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